Category Archives: Guidance & safeguarding

Planning your wedding day

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Planning your wedding day

Guidance for Couples

And when He desired to manifest grace and beneficence to men… He revealed observances and created laws; among them He established the law of marriage, made it as a fortress for well-being and salvation, and enjoined it upon us in that which was sent down out of the heaven of sanctity in His Most Holy Book.  (Bahá’u’lláh)

When planning your Bahá’í wedding, you will want it to be one of the most special days in your life.  In order for the wedding to run smoothly there are number of issues you will need to take into consideration well in advance. These include:

  • Seeking consent from all living natural parents of both parties, whether Bahá’í or not.
  • Ensuring that your Bahá’í wedding and civil wedding (and/or the wedding ceremony of any other religion) take place on the same day without a night intervening.  This is essential in order to comply with Bahá’í law.
  • Deciding who you would like to be your witnesses (they should be responsible persons aged 15 or over but do not have to be Bahá’ís).
  • Approaching the local Spiritual Assembly to assist with the arrangements for the wedding.
  • If there is no Spiritual Assembly in the area where your wedding is taking place, please contact the National Office to enquire which is the nearest Assembly.
  • Alternatively, the National Assembly can oversee your wedding and will appoint a mature individual believer to attend the wedding on its behalf to approve witnesses, ensure the vows are said etc.

The Civil Wedding

Sometimes the friends put great effort into organising their Bahá’í wedding, including sending out the invitations, and then find there is a problem with arranging the civil wedding on the same day, leading to real difficulties.

It is wise to ensure that the civil wedding is arranged well ahead of time.  If you are booking a wedding at a weekend, especially in the summer, this is particularly important because Registry Offices and Registrars do get booked up a long way ahead.

For further guidance on civil weddings in England and Wales please see the Directgov website.

In Scotland and Northern Ireland it is possible to hold the Bahá’í and civil weddings simultaneously as the Bahá’í Marriage Officers there are also empowered to celebrate the civil part of the ceremony.

For further information on this please contact the National Office and ask for the relevant Guidance Notes.

Visas

If marrying someone from another country (other than the EU), it is particularly important to seek advice from your local Registrar’s Office and from the Home Office to ensure that you are planning the wedding sufficiently ahead.  The person coming from abroad will need to obtain a marriage visa through their relevant British Consulate and this can take quite a long time –  up to nine months in the case of someone from the Middle East.  For information on this please go to Getting married or registering a civil partnership in the UK on the UK Border Agency website.

Parental consent

If for any reason you envisage there being a challenge with obtaining parental consent, please do contact the National Spiritual Assembly urgently to seek guidance.  The National Assembly will need to know details of the situation – e.g. were you adopted, have you lost touch with your parents, etc.  Such queries are always handled in complete confidence.

In a letter dated 18 October 2011 from the Universal House of Justice, the following guidance is offered with respect to parental consent in cases where the possibility of the requirement of consent being waived is being considered:

In view of the inherently delicate and sensitive nature of such cases, the process of investigating the facts and gaining a clear understanding of the situation can take considerable time, and a patient and loving approach is required. It would be inappropriate for the Assembly or the couple to impose a deadline by which the parent is to make a decision, such as by setting a date for the wedding. Preparations for the ceremony should not be undertaken until consent has been given or the National Assembly has decided to permit the marriage to proceed without the consent of one or more of the parents.

Any other queries

Should you have any other questions which arise please do not hesitate to contact the Secretariat office at 0207 584 2566 or email  nsa@bahai.org.uk for further help.

The links below give access to further guidance documents (aimed at Local Spiritual Assemblies) relating to Bahá’í marriage (and divorce).

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